all writers are psychotic thin-skinned little bitches

but it’s not our fault!

I’ve never been particularly ambitious. The only career goal I’ve ever had is a modest one: To be lavishly-compensated and publicly-celebrated for writing about whatever the hell I want.

I’m aware this sounds arrogant, possibly even deranged, but come on. If you really drilled down to the seething, roiling hell-core of most writers, it’s what all of us want and — I’d go further — nonsensically believe we’re entitled to.

If we didn’t believe this, if we don’t, then why keep doing it? We could, after all, just stay in bed, burn money and scratch out our own eyes. Why keep writing and writing and writing