how do i begin?

thoughts on memory and story

We know the truth not only by reason but also by heart.

— Blaise Pascal

“Everyone has a novel in them,” some dude who clearly disliked novelists said once.

Needless to say I disagree, but not for the reasons you might think. I think what he meant is that everyone has a story in them and within that story lies the raw material for a novel. And while technically it’s true, the leap from lived experience to story to a coherent book length work of fiction is as wide and deep and deadly as the English Channel. I’m not discouraging you from trying to cross, especially if you feel your life depends upon it (you wouldn’t be the first), I’m just saying: It’s cold and deep and its full of eels and twisting currents. So go for it, but first: You’d be wise to learn how to swim.

Memoir writing is an end in itself of course, but it’s also something else, something valuable and practical and, in my view, always worthwhile. Think of it as a form of exercise, a practice that could one day make all the difference, not just in terms of writing — but actually living — your life.

Think of it as swimming lessons.

If you have ever taken a creative writing course or a master class, done a workshop or watched a Q&A at a literary festival you have probably heard a writer decree some version of the the old truism, write what you know.

All this means is that writing is observation. It’s perception and experience filtered through memory and set on the page. So in a way everything a writer writes, from screenplays to song lyrics to a pleading letters to the parole board, is a memoir — of sorts.

To return to the dude who quite possibly disliked novelists, what I think he really, actually for real meant is this: Everyone has a story in them. And within that story lies the raw material for a memoir. So let’s just agree on the following for the sake of this Memoir Club: Everyone has a memoir in them.

Whether or not it will — or should — stay that way is a whole other question.

What I want you to know right from the outset is that you’ve got the basic raw materials to make one. You’ve got what it takes. Your own remembered past experience is more than enough. It’s all right there inside you, laying in wait. All you need to do is tap into it, then make something of it. But how?

Take my hand, let me be your guide.