in praise of lectures

and the dignified practice of reading

I’m in love with a new book.

Susie Boyt’s Loved and Missed. It’s about Ruth, a single mother in North London who decides to kidnap her teenage heroin addict daughter’s baby. Really, though, like all great novels it's a story about everything. Families. Relationships. Pain. Joy. Life on earth basically.

One of the things that sets the novel apart for me is the acuity of observation and intensity of emotion. You are right inside Ruth’s busy brain — following along with her digressions and reflections. She’s a teacher so from time to time to time she goes off on these marvellous little rants. Normally I loathe being lectured (on the page or anywhere else) but Ruth is so clever and honest and sharp her orations left me yearning for more of her wisdom.

Here’s a passage from early on in the book. Ruth is at her granddaughter’s christening, vacillating between love and outrage.

I felt arrows of rage rising in me, fraught images spreading like bloodstains. There’s no point, I told myself. I reached for the ordinary decoys. It won’t get you anywhere. Think of the outcome you want and make sure you are moving towards it. Got to be practical. That was what I always told the girls at school. There is so much in life that doesn’t matter, so many things that hold you back, hem you in and throw you off the scent of what’s important. Don’t get too bogged down in things that don’t count or things you cannot influence, and specifically don’t worry too much about making sure others know you’re in the right, because it so easily gets in the way of what you want and need. Become an expert at shrugging most of life off and free yourself for what really interests you. Hone your focus. Don’t bother with cleaning or tidiness beyond basic hygiene. Don’t make you’re appearance your primary concern. It will zap all your creativity. Be as self-sufficient you dare. Sometimes you hold more strength when people don’t know what you think or feel, so be very careful whom you confide in. People can run with your difficulties when you least expect it, distort them, relish them even, and before you know it they’re not yours any more. Respect your privacy. And earn your own money or you’ll lack power. Take good care of your friendships, nurture them and they’ll strengthen you. Don’t turn frowning at the defects of other people into a hobby, delicious though it may be; it poisons you. Read ever day — it is a practice that dignifies humans. Become a great reader of books and it will help you with reality, you’ll more easily grasp the truth of things and that will set you up for life. And don’t expose your brain to low-quality art forms because there will be a certain measure of pollution.

You should buy it and read it. That’s all. Happy Friday.