observations on life in diminished circumstances

an update from the cracks

1. We need so few things really.

2. But the things we do need, we need badly. And when our children need things and we cannot provide them? Well this is the difficult part.

3. Whatever the trade off, just remember: No bargain cut in the service of a child is a bad bargain.

4. Understand and accept that for the time being you are operating from a place of diminished social standing and currency and because of this, feckless people will exploit your weakness.

5. They will do so unconsciously and instinctively, so don’t bother trying to point it out or waste your energy arguing over it.

6. What this means for you, materially speaking, is that should you come into conflict with someone who has been negligent toward you and point it out, they will be far less likely to apologise and more likely lash out and attack, often in unwarranted ways.

7. When and if this happens repeatedly, you will notice the pattern and think, ‘What am I doing wrong here? Surely I must somehow deserve this?’

8. But you didn’t. And you don’t.

9. Forgive them if you can. Understand their attacks are a form of fear-based anxiety. Understand they too are vulnerable in their own way.

10. Remember you are so much more than the sum of your diminished material parts.

11. The best people in your life will understand this. They will brush aside the veil of stigma and chaos and see right down into the core of who you are and they will not waver.

12. Hold these people close.

13. But also: don’t be afraid to cull the herd.

14. Jordan Peterson was right about one thing: Make your bed.

15. Take instructions from your body. How you feel matters a lot.

16. Take to heart the words of William Munning: Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.

17. Volunteer one day a month at a food bank. It will instantly absolve you of any shame over having to patronise one.

18. You don’t deserve it. You don’t you don’t you don’t you don’t you don’t.