random thoughts from the school christmas fair

without the gloom there is no twinkle

Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

1. Back in the good old days when my old NCT girl gang ran this shit like cardio, I remember this fair actually being kind of fun. Now look at it.

2. Our Santa was an out-of-work-actor with neck tattoos who wore leather man-jewellery. Found him in the pub. Worked for tips. This new guy actually looks hired from an agency. His beard might even be real. Christ.

3. Kind of amazing he passed the CRB check actually.

4. I can’t believe these people are drinking mulled wine at 3:45 pm on a Wednesday.

5. God this is almost worse than that two and a half hour production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

6. Oooh I know, let’s count the divorced people!

7. Two, three…

8. Okay go on, but just one! I’m dragging an eight-year-old sugar coma home in the rain.

9. Honestly that Mariah Carey song should come with a trigger warning, it’s like a trauma flashback from Love, Actually.

10. Six, seven….

11. Yep, still tastes like hot stomach acid with cloves. I miss egg nog.