relax, pour yourself a bath

on the effortless, productive bliss of flow and how you can find yours without even trying

All my life I have been searching for states of flow. When I look back over the years, flow has been my singular, life-defining ambition. I have found this state in all sorts of places, many of them unexpected and accidental — often I find it in water which is why I swim and take so many baths (far too many, I could buy a mansion with what I’ve spent on coconut oil and moisturiser).

I have found flow in work and play, in friendship and love, in action and stillness, wakefulness and sleep. My appetite for this state is insatiable. Why? Because it feels good and builds on itself, creating meaning and more of itself in turn. It’s productive and energising and joyous. Like love, flow is not an exhaustible resource, the more you give yourself over to it the more you will receive, the more you can give it to others. The tricky thing about it (and my wolfish appetite for achieving it) is that flow cannot be stalked and hunted like prey. It’s a state best approached indirectly, usually through an unrelated goal — the conscious and simple relaxation of the body and mind (hence all the bathing and swimming and yoga), or the process of making something.

Flow is the fusion of action and consciousness; an effortless state of balance between the left and right brain in which the body is engaged and present. It is what people mean when they talk about the “creative act” or “being in the zone.” A form of pleasurable absorption, distinct from wilful, arduous concentration — though the latter can often give way to the former with spectacular results. When it comes to inducing states of flow (or “trance”) hypnotherapy works for me. It’s like meditation with a purpose. But there are various ways to go about it. As a therapist I make a distinction between the act of “trying” versus “allowing.” Once you are able to relax into an open state, time pauses and the unconscious mind takes over, listening and learning — and whispering its wisdom. Even in a shallow state of flow (or trance, whatever you want to call it), the human psyche becomes supple and receptive — to positive suggestion. To finding creative solutions for nagging problems. In flow we are conscious and in control of our bodies but there is also a feeling of flying and gliding. The results are often extraordinary and life-changing. While the state of flow is a healthy pleasure in and of itself, the tangible effects (books, art, music, ideas, joy, connection, a better life) are as valuable as the gift of human consciousness itself.

If you’ve ever watched a child trying to learn how to ride a bike or swim you’ll know the difference between trying and allowing. You can teach a kid all the mechanics of how to pedal in balance or float, breaking the skills down into little bits of Lego and pressing them together, but ultimately the act itself cannot be consciously engineered, for the simple reason that riding a bike or gliding weightlessly through water requires an essential leap of faith. To grasp the skill let alone master it, first you must allow yourself to trust the process. Learning to flow is about trusting your body and mind to know what it already knows — an act of submission in the effortless pursuit of a higher goal.

Flow is letting go with a purpose.

Lately I’ve been writing loads and it feels wonderful. I know I’m on a writing jag when I find myself tweaking paragraphs on the google doc on my phone while standing in the line at the grocery store. When I’m in writing in flow it feels as if I’m always writing, effortlessly and easily, no matter what I’m actually doing in real life.