the best piece of free advice i've ever paid good money for

which most of us know but forget

I’ve been quiet on here lately for a bunch of unconnected reasons, the main one being I’ve just not had a lot to say. Because I am usually quite chatty I’ve learned to relax into my moods of silence on the rare occasion one descends over me. For many years I was columnist and feature writer at a newspaper and had to fight through the impulse to say nothing. What I learned by fighting this fight was that forcing yourself to write words and construct arguments when you are wordless and without opinions often yields unsatisfying results — but if you file on time, no one really cares. But I did.

I cared then and I still do now.

These days, when I feel garrulous you’ll get more of me and when I feel quiet you’ll get less. So thanks for sticking around and not running off to follow some celebrity with interns to churn out weekly round ups and listicles and daily live interviews or whatever it is people are getting all lathered up about. And thanks also for patiently putting up with my general inconsistency. I promise you, it’s in the interests of quality control and mutual enjoyment, which is what all good relationships ought to be about.

Now, for the life advice bit!

Since starting Juvenescence just over three years ago, my core subscribers will know I’ve had a number of legal, professional and personal quagmires to wade through and sort out. It’s been a bit of shit show, quite frankly, and while I won’t go so far as to say I bear no responsibility for this quagmire of pain, the worst part of the chaos has truly not been of my making. Crazy bad stuff really does sometimes happen all at once to reasonable good people. The thing that has stretched my sanity to breaking point has been that in spite of not being responsibly for the mess, it’s fallen to me to clear up. Then again, I’m a single mum, which means I’m an expert at sucking it up and getting on with the unpleasant task at hand.

The upside of getting through the first leg this crisis (the particularities of which don’t strictly matter but are detailed in broad strokes behind the paywall for reasons of privacy) has been an education and a half. I have learned SO much along the way about basic mental and emotional survival and strategy and managing other people and myself and I am still learning now. There really is wisdom and strength to be taken from periods of suffering and turmoil and almost all of it comes from privilege of seeking out and also (this is crucial) following good counsel when it comes.

And there is one piece of advice I’ve received that has stood out from the pack. It’s a pearl of true wisdom that’s saved my life over and over and over again.