traumatised by the trauma plot

on baby reindeer, speaking bitterness and the importance of complicated truths

Is anyone else out there feeling a bit traumatised by ‘trauma’?

Lately, whenever I hear the term I feel slightly queasy. The sceptical journalist/author part of me cringes at the buzzword (so ubiquitous and vague) while the empathetic mother/hypnotherapist/coach inside me believes in trauma whole-heartedly. Not only do I believe in it, I know it can be effectively treated, processed and overcome. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD (for birth trauma) and gotten over it. Of course I believe in trauma! I’ve had flashbacks. And yet, increasingly, my bullshit detector goes off very time someone mentions the word. Curious.

This little internal conflict has been at the forefront of my over-think since watching Baby Reindeer, the controversial new British comedy thriller series on Netflix, by the writer/comedian Richard Gadd. I saw it once and was so astounded by it I went back and watched it all over again.

I say ‘controversial’ because while the series was a break-out trans-Atlantic hit, more recently, it’s been pilloried in the British press. The ‘scandal’ centred around the fact that the series was billed by in the opening title cards as a “a true story” when in fact it was quite obviously a drama based on real life events.

The set up is simple (no major spoilers I promise): Donny, a failed comedian-turned-bar tender in London, strikes up a friendship with an eccentric regular, Martha. Donny seems relatively normcore, while Martha is an entertaining pinwheel-eyed fabulist. He takes her on a pity-date and she in, in turn, predictably proceeds to stalk him as her one true love. Despite himself, Donny finds he enjoys the attention. It makes sense in a way, he’s a struggling performer; Martha becomes his biggest fan (albeit a creepy, unsexy one). But as their bizarre co-dependent relationship descends to twisted new lows, Donny becomes increasingly fixated on Martha and, more importantly, psychologically fascinated by her obsession with him. Chaos ensues, and all of it, eventually loops back to the big reveal: A traumatic event in Donny’s past, which explains everything… kind of?

In this sense, Baby Reindeer is a classic example of the trauma plot. Except actually it’s not and that’s what I loved about it, but we’ll get to that and how also how it dovetails with my own personal experience of writing about trauma and being publicly attacked for it.

But first, what is the trauma plot?