My sister, brother and I were, as your kids are now, happily unaware that our mother was in the same straights as you now find yourself. The happy part of our circumstances - we kids I mean - is that our mother was a brave and steadfast soul like you. She steered us round the shoals of her dark predicaments. On Christmas morning we were not allowed to open the door to our darkened living room until we had awakened her, but never before 7 AM. Three kids bouncing around her bouncing self got her up and going. The door to the living room was flung open, the string of lights on our small tree turned on to suddenly illuminate a generous pile of wrapped presents beneath the bows, and three heavy hand-sewn Christmas stockings hanging on the fire place grate. Our gifts were mostly what we needed - socks, underwear, tooth brushes, packs of pencils or pens for school, and such. But there was always one gift under the tree, specially chosen to delight each of us according to our natures. She worked and scrimped and kept her deepest sorrows to herself. You have illuminated those sorrows for me, but I feel quite sure you do not wrap them in a bow and present them to your boys, great mother than you are.
So sorry you’re having such a difficult time. Sounds like you’re doing everything you can to improve the situation ( I’ve been in similar straits myself), and are very resourceful. Have a lovely Christmas !! Your boys are your wealth. May Santa be good to you in every way.
I so concur re the pressure of it all and single parenting penury. Esp with also having family abroad. I may be one of the strange few who actually look forward to January. Good luck to you
My daughters would be in similar circumstances if they didn’t have the Bank of Mom and Dad:-) minus the kids which they don’t have. I tell them it’s a big world and there are happy and unhappy people everywhere. You don’t have to live in the most expensive city….you can be just as happy or unhappy in Toronto:-) Have you thought about moving back? My daughters have six figure incomes and still can’t afford London. Mind you they live in Chelsea. Try coming back for a visit and see how it feels. Merry Christmas 🥳 and a fab New Year!!! Stephen
I’ve been where you’re at….a writer…screenwriter in Canada w two kids to support. Divorced. No steady income. So we sold the house and split the money 50/50. And instead of renting I bought a fixer upper in Rosedale and lived in it and fixed it up and sold it in a year and made more money than I made from writing. Bingo. I became a developer and still continued writing but instead of writing episodic TV for people I wrote films I wanted to make. Plan B!?
Oh, I'm not at all sure of that! London is ruinously costly, and if I didn't have dear friends with floors to sleep on, I could never afford to be in my favourite city in the whole world. See ya in May!
As always, you impress me with your resourcefulness and your self-awareness and your humour. You will get through this and your boys are blessed to have such a loving mother. You have your priorities straight.
Love you. I wish I could send you a North Face Puffer jacket because they are super cheap in Miami. I'd fill the pockets with iguana eggs and mangos and flamingo feathers and hope that you could scrimp up enough for three plane tickets to the Everglades
I guess poverty is subjective. Growing up in my little village on my little island Grenada, I never knew the word poverty. There was no stockings, or Christmas tree with pretty or not pretty wrapped presents anywhere in our home. Christmas was the aroma of fruit cake making on Christmas Eve, soaked in black wine and rum, sorrel laced with cinnamon and cloves sweetening up the kitchen, ginger beer ready to pour into clean empty rum bottles and stored in a cool place… not a refrigerator. We had none until later which my great grandmother operated on a strict ‘only to keep fish from going bad’ system. Christmas was looking forward to a slice of cake perhaps more than once a day with a glass of sorrel with ice from the neighbour.,Devouring or savoring this treat that came once a year. No Santa either. Five dollars got the girls a doll , boys a little vroom vroom car to push in the floor. Getting scrubbed and wearing my red dress with tiny green and yellow flowers to Christmas mass and Starlights fireworks . And so, even on days when my daughter and I survived on crackers and condensed milk- only thing I could get for $5.00, (no refrigeration required) poverty never entered my vocabulary. I guess it is rather subjective.
Strange piece given your need to shield kids from situation. I hope you succeed and was almost prepared to write you a cheque!! Life has not been fair to you and the need to stay poor to get legal aid is cruel. My heart goes out to you. Have as good a Christmas as possible!! cheers P
Nice article. I am sorry you are currently poor and on assistance. Having followed your work for many years, in Canada, it is distressing to hear your stories. You did not give off the vibe of future poverty.
My sister, brother and I were, as your kids are now, happily unaware that our mother was in the same straights as you now find yourself. The happy part of our circumstances - we kids I mean - is that our mother was a brave and steadfast soul like you. She steered us round the shoals of her dark predicaments. On Christmas morning we were not allowed to open the door to our darkened living room until we had awakened her, but never before 7 AM. Three kids bouncing around her bouncing self got her up and going. The door to the living room was flung open, the string of lights on our small tree turned on to suddenly illuminate a generous pile of wrapped presents beneath the bows, and three heavy hand-sewn Christmas stockings hanging on the fire place grate. Our gifts were mostly what we needed - socks, underwear, tooth brushes, packs of pencils or pens for school, and such. But there was always one gift under the tree, specially chosen to delight each of us according to our natures. She worked and scrimped and kept her deepest sorrows to herself. You have illuminated those sorrows for me, but I feel quite sure you do not wrap them in a bow and present them to your boys, great mother than you are.
Oh Vian, thank you for sharing with such honesty. Your hindsight is so heartening. Happy Christmas to you and yours!
Great essay, Leah.
Thank you!
Best wishes to you, and merry christmas!
And to you!
Good writing xx
Thanks YOU x
Every. Single. Christmas depressed the little baby Bejesus out of me when my kiddos were little. Hang in there.
I am and I will! Thanks Marguerite!
So sorry you’re having such a difficult time. Sounds like you’re doing everything you can to improve the situation ( I’ve been in similar straits myself), and are very resourceful. Have a lovely Christmas !! Your boys are your wealth. May Santa be good to you in every way.
Thank you! We will be fine. Happy Christmas to you and yours Rosemary. Here’s to a whole new year! xxx
I so concur re the pressure of it all and single parenting penury. Esp with also having family abroad. I may be one of the strange few who actually look forward to January. Good luck to you
Bring in the new year! (and thank you)
My daughters would be in similar circumstances if they didn’t have the Bank of Mom and Dad:-) minus the kids which they don’t have. I tell them it’s a big world and there are happy and unhappy people everywhere. You don’t have to live in the most expensive city….you can be just as happy or unhappy in Toronto:-) Have you thought about moving back? My daughters have six figure incomes and still can’t afford London. Mind you they live in Chelsea. Try coming back for a visit and see how it feels. Merry Christmas 🥳 and a fab New Year!!! Stephen
I’ve been where you’re at….a writer…screenwriter in Canada w two kids to support. Divorced. No steady income. So we sold the house and split the money 50/50. And instead of renting I bought a fixer upper in Rosedale and lived in it and fixed it up and sold it in a year and made more money than I made from writing. Bingo. I became a developer and still continued writing but instead of writing episodic TV for people I wrote films I wanted to make. Plan B!?
Ahhh thanks Stephen. I’ll be back before long! Happy Christmas to you and yours x
Ah thanks Stephen. I could never afford to move back to Toronto, even if I wanted to. It's way more expensive than London.
Oh, I'm not at all sure of that! London is ruinously costly, and if I didn't have dear friends with floors to sleep on, I could never afford to be in my favourite city in the whole world. See ya in May!
Well, both are pricey in different ways but London is home now. I do miss the snow and the winter sun!
As always, you impress me with your resourcefulness and your self-awareness and your humour. You will get through this and your boys are blessed to have such a loving mother. You have your priorities straight.
Great writing. Xx
Love you. I wish I could send you a North Face Puffer jacket because they are super cheap in Miami. I'd fill the pockets with iguana eggs and mangos and flamingo feathers and hope that you could scrimp up enough for three plane tickets to the Everglades
Writing well is the best revenge. You do succeed and succeed and succeed again. XXOO
I guess poverty is subjective. Growing up in my little village on my little island Grenada, I never knew the word poverty. There was no stockings, or Christmas tree with pretty or not pretty wrapped presents anywhere in our home. Christmas was the aroma of fruit cake making on Christmas Eve, soaked in black wine and rum, sorrel laced with cinnamon and cloves sweetening up the kitchen, ginger beer ready to pour into clean empty rum bottles and stored in a cool place… not a refrigerator. We had none until later which my great grandmother operated on a strict ‘only to keep fish from going bad’ system. Christmas was looking forward to a slice of cake perhaps more than once a day with a glass of sorrel with ice from the neighbour.,Devouring or savoring this treat that came once a year. No Santa either. Five dollars got the girls a doll , boys a little vroom vroom car to push in the floor. Getting scrubbed and wearing my red dress with tiny green and yellow flowers to Christmas mass and Starlights fireworks . And so, even on days when my daughter and I survived on crackers and condensed milk- only thing I could get for $5.00, (no refrigeration required) poverty never entered my vocabulary. I guess it is rather subjective.
Best wishes at beating the system.
The joy of your boys' Christmas is...you. Wishing you all much happiness over the holiday, and beyond.
Strange piece given your need to shield kids from situation. I hope you succeed and was almost prepared to write you a cheque!! Life has not been fair to you and the need to stay poor to get legal aid is cruel. My heart goes out to you. Have as good a Christmas as possible!! cheers P
Nice article. I am sorry you are currently poor and on assistance. Having followed your work for many years, in Canada, it is distressing to hear your stories. You did not give off the vibe of future poverty.