Thank you for writing this. I also experienced a break inside me in 2015 and sensed a major shift was underway - which arrived a year later in 2016. I enjoy your writing very much - the clarity, the honesty and the raw beauty of your words. Keep on doing you. 🫶🏻
I think most of us over forty understand this break. Some call it a midlife crisis (the gentler explanation), or a Come to Jesus moment, or like me, a tsunami— that washes away everything you have come to know and hold dear. As my father always said, this too shall pass.
I was feeling slightly guilty that your eloquent and thoughtful piece was reduced by me to something that sounded like like “yeah what you’re saying is this” my simple brain was just acting in a simple way ! Another thing I bore people with is saying “the older I get the less I know people ,people continue To do and say things that constantly surprise me.Maybe Socrates was right when he said something like …all I know is that I know nothing … keep writing Leah
Congratulations on your successful first year...when I see your newsletter in my inbox it’s something I read as soon as I have a free minute, best compliment I can give.
There is, I think, something like a tough, green shoot pushing up from under the pavement, pushing into a weak place that has not yet cracked yet, but will.
Leah, I think you just described a birth, with all of its pain and joy, mystery and wonderment. Perhaps it's the birth of your real life as a Writer with a cap W! Congrats on your courage and dedication to your art and to your own destiny.
Such a beautiful piece. I feel like I'm emerging from a similar place to where you were (struggling to take myself seriously, feeling fat.) Grateful to have found your work on this platform!
I'm a chiseler so yes, I've got one, a Shawshank. Good writers have what the Italians hereabout call "una testa dura", a hard head, which involves a good deal of stubborness. You're a good writer, so, the sunshine's up there for those who can pushing up and out. No skull banging necessary. But, because magic forces are involved, you'll just insinuate yourself into new possibilities.
I had no idea that Substack was started by a Canadian.. cool.
I have a fabulous friend whose daughter was born with developmental challenges. It was not expected - well I guess those situations never are- but it has changed her life & her life's work.
Check out Do Good Donuts & its founder the awe inspiring Melanie Cote.
When I was having a hard time during the pandemic, and after .. she sent me a note that said "hard roads sometimes lead to beautiful destinations." TRUTH.
I sense that this might be what is happening with you too - much love from Toronto xox Victoria
I appreciate good writing; even more I appreciate honesty. Thank you Ms.McL. for providing both with your latest personal essay. "This is the kind of life I want and I am going to take the necessary and difficult steps toward making it happen and accept the consequences as they come because there will be consequences." This sounds as familiar to me as I sense it does to many who have pondered their life choices. My pivot point didn't come in a storm but I was in my forties. My revelation was that I had become too serious. My salvation was to accept joy into my life. We are all on separate or unique journeys. Isn't it wonderful that we can recognize our commonalities so that we can accept or offer a helping hand along the way!
Thank you, Leah. You are the right kind of righteous and very, very brave. Xo
Thank you Alyson, if the wrong kind of righteous exists I might be that too. x
Thank you for writing this. I also experienced a break inside me in 2015 and sensed a major shift was underway - which arrived a year later in 2016. I enjoy your writing very much - the clarity, the honesty and the raw beauty of your words. Keep on doing you. 🫶🏻
the second adolescence, is how I think of it, for better or worse?
Brave girl.
I agree with Gordon’s comment about seeing a new Leah column here and carving out enough time to properly read and absorb.
My forties were like a dust storm at times. Urgency, flight, blinded, seeing clearly briefly
and then watching that cycle return again and again.
All that in the rear view mirror but it was a real shit show.
You seem to have the reins in hand.
Well done, you.
Thank you Pam. Your dust storm metaphor is gorgeous (and I feel it).
I think most of us over forty understand this break. Some call it a midlife crisis (the gentler explanation), or a Come to Jesus moment, or like me, a tsunami— that washes away everything you have come to know and hold dear. As my father always said, this too shall pass.
Love and respect you-and I hope that you do as well- Thank you! You are making a wonderful contribution!
Lovely piece,I get it.Resonated with me.The transition from the certainty of go go ambitious youth , to “ what’s life all about?”
yes, the change of tempo is welcome. i know exactly what you mean
I was feeling slightly guilty that your eloquent and thoughtful piece was reduced by me to something that sounded like like “yeah what you’re saying is this” my simple brain was just acting in a simple way ! Another thing I bore people with is saying “the older I get the less I know people ,people continue To do and say things that constantly surprise me.Maybe Socrates was right when he said something like …all I know is that I know nothing … keep writing Leah
Congratulations on your successful first year...when I see your newsletter in my inbox it’s something I read as soon as I have a free minute, best compliment I can give.
I'm honoured and you are correct
There is, I think, something like a tough, green shoot pushing up from under the pavement, pushing into a weak place that has not yet cracked yet, but will.
could i borrow a hammer?
Happy Anniversary, and congratulations. That was a hell of a year.
and it's not even half over yet in official terms
Leah, I think you just described a birth, with all of its pain and joy, mystery and wonderment. Perhaps it's the birth of your real life as a Writer with a cap W! Congrats on your courage and dedication to your art and to your own destiny.
what a lovely thing to say... let's hope the labour pains recede and my body bounces back (unlikely, arrows not pointing up, no matter)
Good story
Very raw
thank you Catherine.
Such a beautiful piece. I feel like I'm emerging from a similar place to where you were (struggling to take myself seriously, feeling fat.) Grateful to have found your work on this platform!
grateful to have you Alicia
Leah, you never cease to amaze me (in a good way!) with your complete honesty, self-awareness and bravery. It’s our pleasure to read your words🙏
and yours as well Gina. so grateful to have you here
I'm a chiseler so yes, I've got one, a Shawshank. Good writers have what the Italians hereabout call "una testa dura", a hard head, which involves a good deal of stubborness. You're a good writer, so, the sunshine's up there for those who can pushing up and out. No skull banging necessary. But, because magic forces are involved, you'll just insinuate yourself into new possibilities.
I had no idea that Substack was started by a Canadian.. cool.
I have a fabulous friend whose daughter was born with developmental challenges. It was not expected - well I guess those situations never are- but it has changed her life & her life's work.
Check out Do Good Donuts & its founder the awe inspiring Melanie Cote.
When I was having a hard time during the pandemic, and after .. she sent me a note that said "hard roads sometimes lead to beautiful destinations." TRUTH.
I sense that this might be what is happening with you too - much love from Toronto xox Victoria
I appreciate good writing; even more I appreciate honesty. Thank you Ms.McL. for providing both with your latest personal essay. "This is the kind of life I want and I am going to take the necessary and difficult steps toward making it happen and accept the consequences as they come because there will be consequences." This sounds as familiar to me as I sense it does to many who have pondered their life choices. My pivot point didn't come in a storm but I was in my forties. My revelation was that I had become too serious. My salvation was to accept joy into my life. We are all on separate or unique journeys. Isn't it wonderful that we can recognize our commonalities so that we can accept or offer a helping hand along the way!
yes to joy Robert