"Overly intense" at a dinner party--my middle name. Opposites attract, there's no way around it. I am really glad I came of age in the 70s and 80s. I had some good Dionysian innings back in an era when the metrics, at least mine, were carnal and not intellectual.
Dinner parties these days are punishing. I have close friends from my different lives--academia, martial arts, military industrial complex, human rights, smuggling/pot, fainting robin foundation. Despite their political differences, they once commingled nicely. I no longer dare put them in the same room. Tribalism is only gaining steam in the US.
Love those smart Guardian-reading Londoners fiercely refusing tories. There are so many great lefty men to date out there, though quite a few—Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein—are dead or in prison. No matter, the entire list of #metoo sex pests are all proud lefties. Oh wait. Never mind! Just tell these clever women to keep weeding out conservative men. Who needs a man with a job who can change a tire when you can date Caleb the social justice warrior who sleeps on his cousin’s sofa. When she says ‘your place or mine,’ she’ll at least be waking up in her own bed!
Hello from a Canadian. This made me think of the US.
I have lived in the US, and I worked for US companies most of my career. I always complain that adult Americans tell me “I am a Democrat”or “I am a Republican”. Being a little irreverent about Americanisms I can’t help myself and always say something., “Oh, we’re you born that way? or, How does that happen to someone?”
I dislike it on so many levels. It is tribal, and a social declaration of tribe. They have a two party system, and seem rather unaware that many countries have more parties, coalitions get formed, strategic voting is very real. I find the US bumper stickers something else I hate, and they are very tribal: class via University alma mater stickers, religion via pro life stickers or the just plain I love Jesus sticker, military and veteran stickers, baby’s on board, and we can go on........
I am proudly independent, and have voted for many different parties in my voting lifetime. I always assess the current issues, the current party platforms, and the current leaders, the current scandals, and what I think is best for our country, our province or our city at that time. Then I freely vote.
I still remember when socializing with someone new was an exploration, an opportunity to meet someone different than your current crowd. When meeting someone new, never make them uncomfortable, be warm and engaging, don’t take on politics, religion, money or other issues that can polarize . I also think these things are rather private, and should have to be discussed or justified to someone new. Assume positive diversity!
Then quickly weed out, unkind, dishonest, unreliable, and any other of the most basic human deal breakers. Otherwise, vive la difference. You might surprise yourself.
What Canadians do when we are getting to know you that is likely just as off-putting:
where do you live? (if in the big city)
which high school did you go to? ( in my hometown of 7 high schools, none private pay)
what kind of work do you do? (Europeans rightly consider this very rude, bad manners)
what did you do on the weekend?
We all do it, to suss out money, class, interests, preferences, just done a little differently. But open questions please, and no money, politics, religion.
And NEVER where are you from, I mean where are you really from?
I have Tories in my family as well. One who's become more progressive over the years, one who's become, like so many Tories, more reactionary. If I were dating now, I would certainly put "No Tories" on my profile. Separate as much wheat from chaff as you can from the get-go. Life is too short, time is too precious. No Brexiters or MAGAs need apply.
Fabulous post! I could just feel the moment of arousal and challenge to your dinner guest’s throw away comment - been there! But to turn it into this hilarious and ever so pertinent post is just genius.
"Overly intense" at a dinner party--my middle name. Opposites attract, there's no way around it. I am really glad I came of age in the 70s and 80s. I had some good Dionysian innings back in an era when the metrics, at least mine, were carnal and not intellectual.
I applaud you Peter -- a dinner party without over-intensity is just dull.
Dinner parties these days are punishing. I have close friends from my different lives--academia, martial arts, military industrial complex, human rights, smuggling/pot, fainting robin foundation. Despite their political differences, they once commingled nicely. I no longer dare put them in the same room. Tribalism is only gaining steam in the US.
Love those smart Guardian-reading Londoners fiercely refusing tories. There are so many great lefty men to date out there, though quite a few—Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein—are dead or in prison. No matter, the entire list of #metoo sex pests are all proud lefties. Oh wait. Never mind! Just tell these clever women to keep weeding out conservative men. Who needs a man with a job who can change a tire when you can date Caleb the social justice warrior who sleeps on his cousin’s sofa. When she says ‘your place or mine,’ she’ll at least be waking up in her own bed!
Don't be mean about Caleb Liz, he's very skilled in... other departments (so I hear).
😂😂😂
Hello from a Canadian. This made me think of the US.
I have lived in the US, and I worked for US companies most of my career. I always complain that adult Americans tell me “I am a Democrat”or “I am a Republican”. Being a little irreverent about Americanisms I can’t help myself and always say something., “Oh, we’re you born that way? or, How does that happen to someone?”
I dislike it on so many levels. It is tribal, and a social declaration of tribe. They have a two party system, and seem rather unaware that many countries have more parties, coalitions get formed, strategic voting is very real. I find the US bumper stickers something else I hate, and they are very tribal: class via University alma mater stickers, religion via pro life stickers or the just plain I love Jesus sticker, military and veteran stickers, baby’s on board, and we can go on........
I am proudly independent, and have voted for many different parties in my voting lifetime. I always assess the current issues, the current party platforms, and the current leaders, the current scandals, and what I think is best for our country, our province or our city at that time. Then I freely vote.
I still remember when socializing with someone new was an exploration, an opportunity to meet someone different than your current crowd. When meeting someone new, never make them uncomfortable, be warm and engaging, don’t take on politics, religion, money or other issues that can polarize . I also think these things are rather private, and should have to be discussed or justified to someone new. Assume positive diversity!
Then quickly weed out, unkind, dishonest, unreliable, and any other of the most basic human deal breakers. Otherwise, vive la difference. You might surprise yourself.
What Canadians do when we are getting to know you that is likely just as off-putting:
where do you live? (if in the big city)
which high school did you go to? ( in my hometown of 7 high schools, none private pay)
what kind of work do you do? (Europeans rightly consider this very rude, bad manners)
what did you do on the weekend?
We all do it, to suss out money, class, interests, preferences, just done a little differently. But open questions please, and no money, politics, religion.
And NEVER where are you from, I mean where are you really from?
what a great topic!
I have Tories in my family as well. One who's become more progressive over the years, one who's become, like so many Tories, more reactionary. If I were dating now, I would certainly put "No Tories" on my profile. Separate as much wheat from chaff as you can from the get-go. Life is too short, time is too precious. No Brexiters or MAGAs need apply.
Patricia, this made me laugh. I do think Trudeau Sr. would disagree with you though -- government/bedrooms of the nation etc. etc. x
Not sure he would have Leah. Different Tories in those day. And you know, he was excruciatingly polite, but he had no tolerance for stupid.
Fabulous post! I could just feel the moment of arousal and challenge to your dinner guest’s throw away comment - been there! But to turn it into this hilarious and ever so pertinent post is just genius.