the new new sex

what it is, how it's done and aren't you glad this isn't another gift guide?

Sex is back. It’s official.¹ Everyone says so. Not just David Cronenberg, Miranda July and a handful of weirdos on Tinder but The New York Times, The New Yorker, even, that century-old virgin, The Guardian.

Here’s the Subreddit: Sex has had a sex change. It no longer identifies as itself, or it didn’t then it did and now sex has come full circle. Detransitioned. Whatever. The new sex is same as the old sex basically, but different — the OG box-office formula.

So what can you do with this information? To begin with you need to forget everything you thought you knew about sex (irrespective of how much sex you have or had not had in your life up until this point) and above all, keep an open mind. Let me explain.

Sex is has evolved, you see. Nothing you knew or thought you knew about it before actually matters. It’s more sensitive and thoughtful than before but just as randy (you can’t take the sex out of sex after all, it’s the universal human driving impulse, the inciting incident of everything). If you are still having the old sex remember it’s not your fault but the patriarchy’s for inventing a social order that centres around controlling women’s bodies and reproductive rights. The new sex isn’t it that stuff. (Someone please alert Pornhub.)

Instead, the new sex is down with… other stuff. Off-beat stuff.